Amber grew up in Buffalo before moving to the Bay Area in her 40s. Though she’s been here for more than 35 years, she still can’t get over the winters. That is to say, she can’t get over the fact that there is no winter.
Tucker is 6, and William is 76. Tucker loves to go next door to spend time with his neighbor. At first, it was because William would always let him have three Twizzlers, but over time Tucker’s visits were planned because of the fun he had. Both friends had something to teach the other—and plenty to learn from the perspective at the opposite end of the century.
All throughout his adult life, driving was a form of therapy for Dave, making him feel confident, independent, and in control. But when Dave turned 68, the way he’d felt about driving started to change. He felt his reflexes slow, his mobility decline, and his vision deteriorate to the extent that it began affecting his ability to drive. Driving quickly went from being his favorite activity to one that caused him a great deal of anxiety. Before he knew it, his children were sitting him down and talking to him about the need for him to give up his license.
Losing weight after turning 70 is a lot like losing weight after turning 30 or 40 or 50: It’s often way harder than you think it is going to be. But it is also very doable, and if your health depends on it, it’s very worth it.
For seven years, I was a caregiver for an older woman with rheumatoid arthritis. She was happy to have me around to help her with the daily tasks that had become difficult, such as preparing her meals, decluttering the house, and even going through her mail and writing to her grandkids. But there were certain things she loved to do that just wouldn’t be the same if I did them for her. For example, she could no longer manage the fine brushwork on the models she used to paint, and she could no longer play the piano because her hands became sore quickly.
A question that everyone has when they are aging is: How do I navigate a world that is increasingly unfamiliar? How do I adjust to changes that happen so quickly? What skills do I need to stay in touch, stay vibrant, and stay part of this life?
Cliff learned firsthand what it means to reverse expectations about aging and later life. When he moved in with his nephew’s family, they expected him to stay in the house most of the time, read books, watch TV, build puzzles, and be around to let the cat in and out. He was as surprised by their expectations as they were to hear that he planned to keep playing golf every week, meeting with his poker group, and dating women from his senior center community. He told them he’d find a way to get to all of these activities, even though he can no longer drive due to his eyesight.
My uncle, Jim, loves to work with his hands. For most of his life, he’s been an avid model builder, painter, and multi-talented craftsmen. He could sit at the kitchen table all day long, building, painting, and creating without even stopping for lunch.
Caregivers have enormous amounts of responsibility when caring for an aging adult on a daily basis. But these responsibilities eventually boil down to two important issues: how to fill the day, and how to fill the day productively and meaningfully. Time, and the weight of it, balances with the responsibility to better the life of your charge. Whether you are a professional caregiver or a family member helping an older loved one, the issues are the same.
She stopped for a second, interrupting her duties, which at the moment consisted of organizing a circle of musicians—older adults who had either once played an instrument or were taking it up for the first time after a long life of wondering if they could play. I asked her why she volunteered, why she took out hours out of her day to better the lives of strangers.
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
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