Financial Assistance for Your Elderly Parents in California
Many people look forward to retirement for years. But when the time comes, they trade their old sources of stress for new ones.
Many people look forward to retirement for years. But when the time comes, they trade their old sources of stress for new ones.
There’s a well-known phrase, attributed to Ben Franklin (but in reality a little older), which is that the only certain things in life are death and taxes. It’s not a fun phrase, but there’s a certain shoulder-shrugging wryness to it because there are some things in life one has to accept.
Camilla and Susan were best friends for more than 40 years, ever since their kids were in school together. Both widowed in the last decade, they grew even closer to each other. Camilla even moved into Susan’s apartment building in the Mission Terrace area of San Francisco so they could spend every day together.
When you moved out of the family home and set off on your own, your mother likely went through a mix of worry and excitement for you. Your challenges were new, and you were bound to make some mistakes on your way to figuring out adulthood. Now that she’s living alone and facing the challenges of later life, you’re likely going through your own worries, especially if you’re unable to act as a regular caregiver to support her independence.
The expansion of our senior population in the coming decades means new challenges for supporting each individual with their needs and their personal goals in later life. It also means new opportunities as these aging adults look for fitting ways to stay involved and serve their local San Francisco Bay Area communities. With a wealth of life experience and an investment in aging healthfully and vibrantly, seniors themselves may be an invaluable support system to help meet some of the challenges of the growing senior demographic.
There isn’t a single thing we do that isn’t based at least somewhat on memory. Even things that are instinctual, like eating, are tied up with how we remember; we remember what food we like to eat, how to prepare it, where the forks are, how we were taught how to hold a knife, how this tasted on that night when it was warm out and the wind rustled the leaves behind your table.
Larry was devastated when he lost his wife, Edna. He’d spent almost every day with her for 67 years, and when she was gone he felt as though he’d lost part of himself. Larry had always been a quiet man—he wasn’t one to share his feelings or speak his mind, but over the years he had learned to open up to Edna. Without her, he fell silent and felt isolated from the rest of the world.
Being a caregiver means balancing a lot of emotions and contradictions. When taking care of an older loved one, especially someone who has significant functional limitations, one of the most pressing issues is a contradiction of time.
Sometimes simple statements, filled with numbers and statistics and the flat, census-based declarations, contain within them an enormous reservoir of pain and suffering and loneliness. That’s probably why we keep them so dry and clinical: to avoid looking at the hurt. Here are a few:
If you were to ask most non-Californians where the Inland Empire was, they probably wouldn’t have an answer. It isn’t a place like Los Angeles or Napa or Silicon Valley that has mythical resonance in the ears of the country. Indeed, even most Californians, and maybe even most residents, wouldn’t be able to define exactly what Inland Empire really is.
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
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