Aging

A quick glance at the literary canon would seem to imply that most novels are about the young. After all, we’re meant to believe, it is only youth that has passion, that has adventure, that has romance. Only youth is worth writing about.

Sebastian loved his home. Not only did he build it with his own two hands, it was where he raised his children. For him, home was where his heart was, and he could never imagine leaving it. As he aged, however, Sebastian found it harder and harder to navigate his home the way he used to. The kitchen floor made his joints ache, he had trouble getting in and out of the bathtub, and he could no longer spring up from his favorite reclining chair with ease.

My grandma passed away quite a few years ago, but her oldest friend, Cora, still comes to our family gatherings. At our recent celebration of her 83rd birthday, my brother made a comment about how it is so great that she continues to live independently. Cora replied, “I don’t think I’ve ever actually lived independently. Even when I was in my prime at your age, I still leaned on the people and the help around me. I can’t imagine what real independence would be like. Lonely, I think.”

Nicholas always had a passion for cooking. There was something about being in his kitchen and creating delicious, colorful meals that brought him so much joy. But as he entered his late seventies, cooking started to become a bit more of a chore. As Nicholas’s mobility decreased, he found it difficult to retrieve pots and pans from his cupboards, remove food from the oven, and lean over the sink to wash his dishes.

If you were to read the papers, or pick up any glossy travel mag with the Bay Area on the cover, or look at really any website, you’d think that there was no one in San Francisco over the age of 30. Indeed, you’d think the whole Bay Area was a “Millennial-Only Zone”.

San Francisco neighbors Kate and Gerry both got dogs after retirement but very different kinds. Kate’s multiple sclerosis forced her into retirement early at 58. She has a very active mind but has to conserve her physical energy and minimize her risk-taking. Meanwhile, Gerry worked until the age of 66 and now looks forward to walking more often in his favorite city parks. Kate needs a dog who can match her energy level, keep her company even when she can’t get out of the house often, and engage playfully with her in the apartment. Gerry needs a dog who’s eager to walk with him around San Francisco but is also adaptable to his smaller apartment and has an energy level that will likely slow down a bit over the coming years.

Reconnection is a beautiful thing—whether it’s being reunited with loved ones, an old neighborhood that you used to call home, or a dream you’d long forgotten. For many aging adults in institutionalized care, such as hospitals and nursing homes, being able to reconnect with the life they once lived is empowering and meaningful. For aging adults and adults with disabilities living in Inland Empire, this will soon be a possibility.

Always the hostess, Carissa has been very involved in her San Francisco neighborhood for more than four decades. Her door has always been open to friends and neighbors and over the years her home has been the site of countless parties, community meetings, and social gatherings. So when she started to experience limitations throughout the day—such as carrying the groceries up the stairs and into her apartment and managing the necessary repairs around her home—she knew she was going to need a bit of help to be able to keep up with her busy social life. With the support of local community resources that help her overcome her limitations, she can keep enjoying the lifestyle she has come to love.

There’s a reason we call late adulthood the “golden years”. It’s the season when a lifetime of work and perseverance yields priceless personal development. It’s when we harvest wisdom; insight that helps us better understand ourselves and our needs. It’s also when our ability to enjoy life with a passion can come to full fruition. Music, laughter, loved ones; we have the right to enjoy every part of our lives — including the pleasures of the table.