When Ruth first started becoming afflicted with the slowly growing dusk of Alzheimer’s, the holidays became more difficult for her family. A time when we usually ward off the long nights with lights and love became a fraught mystery, filled with tension and a feeling of mute frustration.
In The Warmth of Other Suns, a Pulitzer Prize-winning non-fiction book from 2010, the writer, Isabel Wilkerson, documents the Great Migration, the wave of African-Americans moving north away from Jim Crow and sharecropping into the uncertain and fraught freedoms of the industrial north in the 1910s and 1920s. In it, she tells a story that is both familiar and jarring: that of grandparents raising grandchildren.
When people step up and start talking, listening, and paying attention to the challenges that are easier to ignore, real change is already happening. The more hands and minds that get involved, the more we can do. Join us for AiA 2018, the Aging in America Conference, taking place at Hilton San Francisco Union Square Monday, March 26, through Thursday, March 29.
Elena was exhausted. Ever since her father came home from the hospital after his heart surgery, she’d been tending to his every need to ensure he recovered fully. After a few weeks of providing him with around-the-clock care, Elena and her father decided it was okay to start leaving him on his own at night.
All throughout his adult life, driving was a form of therapy for Dave, making him feel confident, independent, and in control. But when Dave turned 68, the way he’d felt about driving started to change. He felt his reflexes slow, his mobility decline, and his vision deteriorate to the extent that it began affecting his ability to drive. Driving quickly went from being his favorite activity to one that caused him a great deal of anxiety. Before he knew it, his children were sitting him down and talking to him about the need for him to give up his license.
It’s a rare and special thing to experience the change of seasons, and those of us who have lived many years and many seasons over have great wisdom to apply to these shifts. Even though our culture and economy want to keep pushing forward regardless of seasonal patterns, our bodies can’t help but feel those natural transitions. Especially in winter, our bodies want to slow down, regenerate, and store up energy for a fresh start come spring.
For seven years, I was a caregiver for an older woman with rheumatoid arthritis. She was happy to have me around to help her with the daily tasks that had become difficult, such as preparing her meals, decluttering the house, and even going through her mail and writing to her grandkids. But there were certain things she loved to do that just wouldn’t be the same if I did them for her. For example, she could no longer manage the fine brushwork on the models she used to paint, and she could no longer play the piano because her hands became sore quickly.
Sometimes aging adults need someone to step up and advocate for them because of communication barriers and other disabilities. But it’s also true that our aging community needs proactive advocates because our own culture and social constructions tend to undermine the independence and dignity they deserve and underestimate the resources they should have access to.
Cliff learned firsthand what it means to reverse expectations about aging and later life. When he moved in with his nephew’s family, they expected him to stay in the house most of the time, read books, watch TV, build puzzles, and be around to let the cat in and out. He was as surprised by their expectations as they were to hear that he planned to keep playing golf every week, meeting with his poker group, and dating women from his senior center community. He told them he’d find a way to get to all of these activities, even though he can no longer drive due to his eyesight.
Depression in the elderly often goes unrecognized, yet its impact can be devastating. This comprehensive guide empowers caregivers to spot the warning signs and take action. Unlike normal aging, depression manifests as a marked shift in mood and behavior. Persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, and social withdrawal are key red flags. Physical symptoms like unexplained aches and changes in sleep patterns may also signal depression.
Approaching a loved one about their mental health requires sensitivity. Choose a quiet moment, express your concerns with specific observations, and listen without judgment. Encourage professional help, emphasizing that seeking support is a sign of strength. Treatment options include therapy, medication, and complementary approaches like art or music therapy.
As a caregiver, your role is crucial. Create a supportive environment, celebrate small victories, and set realistic expectations for recovery. Remember to prioritize your own well-being too. With understanding, patience, and the right resources, you can help your elderly loved one reclaim their joy and vitality.
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
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