The New Year is always a time of reflection and anticipation, met with excitement and promise. It’s a time to start fresh, with an unmarked calendar, the blank pages like a fallen snow. And, if you’re a caregiver for an aging loved one, this can be a year of exciting changes—for both of you.
Nancy looked around the dinner table and smiled. Seeing her two young boys, husband, and mother all sitting together, chatting about their days, made her heart warm with gratitude. It had been a year since she’d invited her mom Paula to come live with them—a proposition that had initially caused some stress for her and her husband as they tried to figure out how to swing it financially, although Paula had enough savings to help pitch in, including a few renovations and extra safety features for the bathroom.
My dad is the most socially and physically active person I know. In his mid-seventies, his social calendar is still jam-packed: between swimming, playing guitar, and hanging out on the golf course, his lifestyle puts my own to shame. He also has a pretty serious heart condition that requires a pacemaker and a slew of medication. Fatigue can hit him during the day, sometimes making him unable to drive.
Most of us are familiar with the boomerang generation—kids in their 20s and 30s moving back home with their parents due to rising housing costs and limited jobs. Especially in attractive, urban cities like San Francisco, many people—both young and old alike—are being priced-out. And now, with life expectancy increasing, and many people currently living into their nineties and beyond, a reverse trend is happening: aging parents are moving back in with their adult children. Older adults are becoming the new boomerang generation—and, for many families, the trend makes wonderful sense.
Caring for an aging loved one should be a rewarding part of your life, so it’s important to consider ways to avoid burning out in your role as caregiver—and hiring outside help to support you may offer some relief. Whether it’s for a few hours, a few days, or full-time, bringing in a professional can help family members to advocate for themselves and to create much-needed downtime—not to mention, professional caregivers bring a lot to the table, including valuable expertise and a fresh perspective. For families looking to hire a professional caregiver, the most common first step is finding a reputable caregiver agency.
The other day, I slipped in the shower and took a bad fall. Aside from getting a bit banged up, the experience also left me shaken emotionally: I felt really vulnerable, both mentally and physically. Even though I’m in good shape, my hip really took a beating. But it’s made me realize just how dangerous a bathroom can be—for anyone, really, but especially for older adults.
Anya was wracked with guilt, a sickening feeling that tossed and turned her throughout the night. As the oldest of the children, she had been responsible for finding a caregiver for her mom. She went through a few caregiver services, did the interviews, and settled on a young woman she thought was the best fit. Anya had been proud of herself, until, nearly a year later, she discovered that the caregiver had been stealing from her mom the entire time, in both large and small amounts. Her mom, suffering from physical ailments as well as the early stages of dementia, had not noticed the theft. By the time it was caught, Anya’s mother was in terrible financial shape. The children all made enough so that she didn’t suffer, but Anya was sickened by the memory. What would have happened if they couldn’t help? What happens to other people?
At one point or another, it’s something we all need to think about: where’s the best place for our aging loved one to live? While staying at home is usually ideal, alternatives like assisted living facilities and nursing homes can be helpful for certain situations. There are numerous variables to consider, including your loved one’s health condition, personal preferences, and proximity of family members. For instance, the amount of professional care needed—whether a few hours per day or round-the-clock assistance—will impact where your loved one will be best served. The range of support available nearby, other accommodation options, and the status of your loved one’s home ownership or rental agreement also play a part. And, of course, there’s also financial matters to think of.
“Holistic” is one of those buzzwords that’s become so trendy recently, it can be easy to lose sight of its true meaning. But the term holds real significance in health care — especially when it comes to more complex illnesses like dementia. Holistic treatment approaches involve organic healing tools and human intuition, without a focus on pharmaceutical drugs. Some of the more common holistic practices are yoga, meditation, reiki, aromatic therapy, visualization, massage, and Ayurveda.
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
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