An old Navy man, Ken had a bunch of tattoos on his somewhat-wrinkled but still-strong arms. There were call-signs and images of the ships on which he used to ply the world’s waters, a few Morse code images, the obligatory mermaid girl, and, somewhat surprisingly, a Latin phrase.
Watching a movie in a group is an incredible, life-affirming way to make a solitary experience into something joyfully communal. We sit in a darkened room, processing a film through our own minds, but surrounded by people who are laughing or gasping or covering their eyes or crying.
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.” -Walt Whitman
With dementia in the driver’s seat, my grandma has good days and bad days and it can be hard to predict what each new day will bring. But over time, we’ve learned to recognize patterns and help foster the kind of environment and conversations that often inspire the good days. If we’ve picked up one most important rule of thumb, it’s to meet her where she is.
Tucker is 6, and William is 76. Tucker loves to go next door to spend time with his neighbor. At first, it was because William would always let him have three Twizzlers, but over time Tucker’s visits were planned because of the fun he had. Both friends had something to teach the other—and plenty to learn from the perspective at the opposite end of the century.
When people step up and start talking, listening, and paying attention to the challenges that are easier to ignore, real change is already happening. The more hands and minds that get involved, the more we can do. Join us for AiA 2018, the Aging in America Conference, taking place at Hilton San Francisco Union Square Monday, March 26, through Thursday, March 29.
Sometimes aging adults need someone to step up and advocate for them because of communication barriers and other disabilities. But it’s also true that our aging community needs proactive advocates because our own culture and social constructions tend to undermine the independence and dignity they deserve and underestimate the resources they should have access to.
When young people, flush in the fire of first love, talk about getting married, there is often a point at which the power of emotion is tempered by the sheer weight of practicality and bureaucracy. This might come when they get their marriage license, or the first time they file taxes together, or when they buy a house.
A question that everyone has when they are aging is: How do I navigate a world that is increasingly unfamiliar? How do I adjust to changes that happen so quickly? What skills do I need to stay in touch, stay vibrant, and stay part of this life?
Cliff learned firsthand what it means to reverse expectations about aging and later life. When he moved in with his nephew’s family, they expected him to stay in the house most of the time, read books, watch TV, build puzzles, and be around to let the cat in and out. He was as surprised by their expectations as they were to hear that he planned to keep playing golf every week, meeting with his poker group, and dating women from his senior center community. He told them he’d find a way to get to all of these activities, even though he can no longer drive due to his eyesight.
Institute on Aging (IOA) CONNECT is your direct line to us and the starting point for help with your concerns about the needs of older adults and adults with disabilities. IOA CONNECT links you with our services, as well as community services available. Reach out to connect with us.
Phone: (415) 750 – 4111 | Fax: (415) 750 – 5338
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