Senior Socialization

My friend Nicky went to her regular dance aerobics class recently, and a new teacher had taken over the class. The instructor opened with: “I was told this is a group of mostly older adults so I should plan to take it a little easier on you.” Nicky said she and the other students looked around at each other and then back at the new teacher and proceeded to set her straight about the fact that just because they’re older, doesn’t mean they aren’t active. Nicky spoke up saying, “We’re here to move, so teach us like you would any other class, and we’ll take breaks if we need to.”

“I’ve always had a lot of friends,” said Madeleine, who has lived alone in her family home since her husband died of cancer a few years ago. “But I’ve slowly lost touch with most of my friends over the years. I made some new ones through a support group here in San Francisco while I was caring for Walter, but when his cancer got worse toward the end, I couldn’t make it to the meetups anymore, and I fell out of touch with those people too.”

When Ken looks back on his life, a few things stand out, and define him. One is his heritage. Growing up in the Fruitvale neighborhood, he’s fiercely proud of his Latino roots and his culture. But then there’s also the two dominant institutions of his life: the US Navy and Oakland public schools. He spent years in the Navy before spending the rest of his career as an educator and administrator. So, after retirement, he found a way to combine two of his life’s driving forces.

Judy’s loved the smell of books since she was a child, her hours spent burying her nose in her favorite worn-out novel, turning the pages as if in a trance, far away from the real-world. Now in her late sixties, she relishes her time volunteering at the local library. Having grown up in Santa Clara, she knows the area like the back of her hand. Out of all her treasured spots, the library holds a special place in her heart. And these days, it’s where she finds herself most of the time—sorting books, discussing fundraisers, or chatting with folks about recommendations. The library has become her home away from home in this chapter of her life.

Loni listened empathetically while Mary shared her feelings of grief over recently losing her husband. The two women, both in their late sixties, had been meeting regularly since shortly after Loni had started her position as a volunteer counselor with Peninsula Family Services. Listening to her peers share personal stories about themselves gave her a new appreciation for her own life’s blessings. She looked forward to her ongoing talks with Mary each week, and seeing her progress as she navigated the grieving process.